Lexidiem: Word of the Day

Sweet home Alabama
where the skies are so blue,
Sweet home Alabama
Lord I'm coming home to you...

Well, maybe not literally.

On Valentine’s Day 2007, a federal court decision announced that it’s perfectly fine for the State of Alabama to criminalize the sale of... umm, how do we put this to not offend anyone... let's just say, certain toys for adults. The 11th Circuit has yet again upheld Alabama’s statute making it "unlawful for any person to knowingly distribute any obscene material or any device designed or marketed as useful primarily for the stimulation of human genital organs." In other words, you can go to jail (up to one year for first violation) or be fined (up to $50,000) if you get caught selling any "material or any device" as outlined in the ruling. 

In 2004, the 11th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals decided that Americans do not have a fundamental right to sexual privacy when it upheld the Alabama law.

San Francisco stand-up comedian Mark Day has decided to make a few choice comments on this issue:

Guess that says it as simply as possible. Cucumber sales are sure to go up in Montgomery, and who knows that a good Kosher Dill pickle will bring in Birmingham!

The Attorney General of Alabama told the court that the law barring sales preserved "public morality," and was, therefore, constitutional. Alabama couldn’t make it illegal to own or use sex toys, but it can make it illegal to sell them. The court decided that selling sex toys was a commercial activity that can be punished under the law, much like prostitution.

Now here is the strange part: Alabama is actually one of the easiest places in the United States to buy a gun. There are no restrictions on the number of handguns that can be purchased at one time, nor are there any on the sale or possession of military-style semiautomatic assault weapons like the AK47 and Uzi. Assault weapons are as easy to buy as hunting rifles. There is no mandatory waiting period to purchase a firearm, nor are there background checks. Child safety locks are not required. 

Could this be part of the reason why the State of Alabama has the 4th highest homicide rates in the United States? 

It was 41 years ago that the Supreme Court decided it was unconstitutional to restrict the sale of condoms. Now if someone sells a vibrating adult toy to a consenting 35-year-old woman at an adult lingerie party in their private home, that seller can go to jail for a year of be fined up to $50,000. 

But it's OK to sell a disturbed 16-year-old high school student a few assault rifles at a gun show, right? It's strange, I can remember reading about the massacres at Columbine High School and other such places, but have yet to hear of anyone being done any damage by a little vibrating rubber duckie personal massager. 

Anyway, just my two-cents worth.

About the video...

Mark Day says that he is "a grumpy, bald Scotsman who lives near San Francisco." He claims to enjoy suburban living and smoked pork, and his dislikes include almost everything else. He has performed at various venues on the lower rungs of the San Francisco comedy "ladder", a ladder which is leaning up against the Golden Gate bridge. He hopes to climb far enough up it to one day fall off and do himself a serious injury. He says that he has "a funny accent, but so do you under the right circumstances."

You can see more about this very funny Scottish import here.